What Happens When Two People With STDs Hook Up?

Relationships are complicated enough without adding an STD to the equation. It’s not exactly the type of thing you can just include in your online dating profile—that is, unless you’re part of a growing number of people joining niche dating sites specifically geared toward people with STDs.

Case in point: Last year, more than 100,000 people signed up for the worldwide STD dating site Positive Singles, according to company data. And it’s no wonder the site is so popular: There are 20 million new incidences of STDs in the U.S. each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention—and that’s on top of the 110 million Americans who are already infected.

“STDs are so common that it’s hard to find a partner who hasn’t dealt with it before,” says Shari Brasner, MD, a gynecologist and assistant clinical professor at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City.

Here’s the thing, though: Just because you and your partner have the same STD doesn’t mean it’s safe to have unprotected sex.

While direct re-exposure to an STD won’t always worsen your case, it could trigger flare-ups from a dormant infection like herpes, says Brasner. Plus, if your partner has been exposed to one STD, he’s more likely to have been exposed to others. And since many super-common STDs such as herpes, HPV, and Chlamydia can be asymptomatic, but still contagious, he may not even know if he’s a carrier, says Brasner.

The bottom line: You two love bugs may share the same love bugs—but you still have to use a condom. To further reduce your chance of transmitting STDs, avoid all sexual contact—kissing included—if either of you are experiencing symptoms or feel an outbreak coming on.

One final note: Condoms help minimize your risk, but they aren’t foolproof. “Because it doesn’t cover all skin surfaces, it’s an imperfect barrier,” says Brasner, “but it’s the best protection we have.”

photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

More from WH:
STD Facts You Should Know
6 Ways to Refresh Your Digital Dating Strategy
The Biggest Myths About Sex and Pregnancy

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Scary News About STDs

In terrifying sex news, a recent CDC report estimates that there are more than 19.7 million new sexually transmitted infections in the U.S. each year. While many of these infections are treatable and even curable, they commonly go undetected because they often have no signs or symptoms.

Case in point: The most common infection, HPV, often presents without any symptoms at all. “About 70% of all new infections are HPV infections,” says study author Catherine Lindsey Satterwhite, Ph.D., epidemiologist with the CDC. Most of those cases will go away on their own, but few can lead to genital warts or even cervical cancer.

Before you swear off sex altogether, remember that there are plenty of preventative measures you can—and should!—take. Here, the tips you need to stay safe:

Be smart about condoms
They may not be foolproof, but condoms are your best line of defense (other than abstinence) against STDs. “The big thing to remember with HPV is that it’s transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, so even when using condoms you’re not going to have full protection, because there is plenty of genital skin that doesn’t get covered,” says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., author of V is for Vagina. The same goes for the herpes virus. But don’t let that deter you from using protection. It still offers significant protection against infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and others.
RELATED: When Is It OK To Go Without a Condom?

Get tested regularly
For women aged 21-30, doctors suggest getting a pap smear once every three years, as well as a screening for common STDs and HIV annually. Women over 30 should also expect an HPV test along with their pap smear every five years. “If you’re with a new partner, anticipating being with a partner, or if you have multiple partners, you should get tested,” says Dweck.
RELATED: Types of STDS: Trouble Down Below

Ask your doctor about any irregularities
Even if your next screening isn’t for two years, you should always see your doctor if symptoms pop up. “Any weird bumps, abnormal bleeding after sex, or signs of an infection may be concerning,” says Dweck. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, call up your gyno.
RELATED: 7 Surprising STD Facts

photo: Ingram Publishing/Thinkstock

More from Women’s Health:
Are Condoms Really So Terrible?
Beyond Condoms
Would You *Bleep* Someone With An STD? 

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