Tag Archives: Feel

The Easiest Way to Feel More Satisfied with Your Job

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Raise your hand if you’ve logged onto Twitter, watched a YouTube video, or stepped out to hit the gym during the workday today. You’re not alone. Ninety-three percent of people say they do a personal activity during work hours in the average week, according to a new Captivate Network survey.

The survey responses—from more than 800 workers in the U.S. and Canada—showed a 30 percent increase in the number of people who worked more than nine hours a day in the past two years (Captivate Network asked the same question in 2011).  Yet there was also an 11 percent increase in the number of people who said they have a solid work/life balance. The researchers’ reasoning: A trend they’re calling “homing from work”—everything from making travel plans to using social media to running out of the office for a doctor’s appointment or to buy a gift.

“That’s reality, it’s how we have to manage things to get it all done,” says Cali Williams Yost, work flexibility expert and author of Tweak It: Make What Matters to You Happen Every Day. “The question is, how do you do it in a way that’s thoughtful and deliberate so that you are performing your job on the job and also being your best in the other parts of your life?”

That’s where these tips come in. Incorporate them into your workday to boost your balance—and happiness:

Remember this mantra: Your job comes first
Work should always be your priority, says Heather R. Huhman, career expert and president of Come Recommended, a content marketing and digital PR consultancy. Log a few hours at your desk before breaking to handle something personal, she says—don’t sit down at your computer and immediately start scrolling through tweets. Lunchtime is a good time for a breather or an errand. You might also have to flex your schedule muscles: If you know you’re going to have to handle some personal business in the afternoon but your workday is going to be crazy, go into the office a little earlier, says Yost, or wake up early and do the opposite of “homing from work”—working from home—for a little while.

Have a purpose and a time slot
Whatever you’re breaking for, know what it is and how long you have, says Yost. That could mean taking 15 minutes to catch up on the news or walk around the block a few times—it just has to be intentional, she says. “You have an activity you want to complete, and you complete it. Then when that’s over, it’s over.”

Keep it SFW
Whatever personal business you’re dealing with should help keep you balanced—without throwing your colleagues off-kilter. Don’t do anything that causes a disruption, says Yost. An argument on the phone with your partner? Not cool. Same with conducting a full-on job search or doing any work for your side gig, she says. (But Yost does give you the green light to maintain your network, such as by having coffee with a colleague or updating your LinkedIn profile.)

Know your office’s (and boss’s) policies
Of course, much of what’s deemed appropriate or inappropriate for you to do on the job will come down to your specific situation. “You really have to read the culture of your organization,” says Yost. It might be fine for your friend to Facebook message you from her cubicle, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK for you to log on. And while another pal might be permitted to slip out of the office every now and then without announcing it to her boss, you might always have to ask your supervisor for permission. What it comes down to: “Know what your unofficial and official workplace rules are, and respect them,” says Huhman.

photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

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How to Feel More Connected To Anyone

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Your boyfriend thinks you’re overreacting when you get upset about him not responding to your text—or you don’t understand why he’s so pissed when you’re 15 minutes late to dinner. Whatever the point of contention, two studies published in the journal Acta Psychologica have revealed a unique way to help you see eye-to-eye: People exposed to cooler temperatures were better at comprehending someone else’s POV.

In the first study, researchers had 81 undergrads hold a cup of either warm or cold water for two minutes. Afterward, the participants read stories designed to test their ability to understand another person’s perspective. For example, in one story a guy’s friends recommend a movie. He watches the movie, hates it, and then, oddly, emails his friends telling them he thought it was fantastic. Participants were asked whether the friends would take the email seriously or think he was joking. Those who’d been holding the cool cup were more likely to conclude that they’d take his comment at face value. They were significantly more successful at ignoring their personal intel and putting themselves in the shoes of the fictitious friends, who had no knowledge that he disliked the film.

The second study of 67 students began the same way, with the cups of water. Participants then read a story about a girl whose friend had hidden an object from her. (Half the participants knew where it was hidden; the other half were in the dark.) When asked where the girl would look for the object first, those who held the hot cup tended to suggest she’d search in the right spot, whereas those who’d been exposed to cold water understood that she’d have no idea where it was.

So, what’s going on here? When you try to understand where another person is coming from, your initial reaction is to consider how you would feel in that situation, a process called egocentric anchoring. “It’s helpful to start that way,” says study coauthor Claudia Sassenrath, PhD, who did the research along with colleagues Kai Sassenberg and Gun R. Semin. “But then you need to take it a step further, by accounting for the differences between you—age, past experience, gender, etc.” And that requires distance and perspective.

Previous research has discovered a link between physical warmth and emotional warmth—people in cozy rooms deemed others to be friendlier and more similar to themselves than those in chilly rooms, who sensed greater separation and less common ground. “We may have learned this as babies,” says Sassenrath. “When our mother held us close, we felt warm, soothed, and connected.” A cold temp, on the other hand, functions as a psychological cue that you and another person are different, which can keep you from projecting your own feelings onto them and thus better understand where they’re coming from.

The next time there’s tension between you and your S.O., open up a bottle of chilled white wine while you work it through. Or take a friend who just went through a breakup out for iced coffee instead of hot tea before you give her advice. You might even try turning the thermostat down a few degrees before asking your boss for a promotion. “Although there are others factors involved that could affect the outcome of these scenarios, research does suggest that if you keep everything else constant, a cooler temperature might help in situations where perspective-taking is involved,” says Sassenrath.

photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

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