Standing your ground may seem simple when it comes to talking politics or defending your love of the Twilight franchise, but when it comes to stifling sexual harassment, you might not be as strong-willed as you think.
According to a new study from the University of Notre Dame, many people don’t stand up for themselves to the extent they believe they will when confronted with sexual harassment. And because people rely on these artificial benchmarks as the standard, they may criticize others who are submissive in the face of sexual harassment, too.
Besides the social stigma and not wanting to be marked as a “problem employee,” the main reason people hesitate to report sexual harassment in the workplace boils down to the same reaction children have when dealing with bullies on the playground, says James Collum, J.D., a sexual harassment training consultant in Ohio. “People avoid confrontation by nature—we figure it we won’t have to deal with it that long and it will go away if it’s ignored,” he says.
But sexual harassment is a serious offense and usually doesn’t just disappear, Collum says. “Sexual harassers are predators—if you don’t diffuse it, the problem will most likely escalate,” he says.
What can you do? For starters, it is important to understand what kinds of behaviors can be considered harassment. “The law say harassment has to be unwanted, and either severe or pervasive,” Collum explains. “Severe” usually refers to a physical attack, like having your butt grabbed in the hallway, and “pervasive” refers to multiple instances of harassment, like being the target of ongoing sexually-charged comments or jokes, says Collum. But flirting—although maybe not best suited for the office—isn’t harassment. The line may be thin, but it definitely exists, especially to management, he says. “Being at a bar and being at work is different,” Collum says. “When you go to work there are guidelines that need to be followed.”
Think you might be the victim of sexual harassment? Follow these steps to protect yourself from further abuse—and from a potential lawsuit:
Don’t Stereotype
Harassment can come from anyone—your colleague, a client, your boss or even the owner of your company, Collum says. And although most cases of sexual harassment are men victimizing younger women, same-sex harassment can be just as abusive, he says.
Say Something Serious
If you face a situation where someone does or says something to you that is inappropriate and makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t laugh it off. Instead, respond firmly with: “Please don’t talk to me that way. I find it offensive,” and leave the area, Collum advises. And if you feel like retaliating with some colorful language, hold your tongue. Your reaction could be an issue later on if the accusations make it to the courtroom, he says.
Document Everything
Write down the who, what, when, and where of the incident (or incidents) and be as detailed as possible, Collum says. If you just verbally complain, there’s no proof the accusations ever existed. And be specific. “This person is making me feel uncomfortable” won’t provide enough context. “You need to make the people in charge feel how you felt,” even if that means writing each derogatory comment down word for word, he says.
Submit a Statement
Provide a written statement of the event to management and don’t forget to follow up. “It’s not a fun thing to do but you can’t get the protection of the law if you don’t advise your company,” Collum says. Good companies will take action to keep it from happening again.
Want more information about sexual harassment? Visit the website of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for resources and advice.
Image: Stockbyte/Thinkstock
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