Do the clothes you wore in high school now make you cringe? In ten years’ time, you’ll probably feel the same about the outfit you wore today. As it happens, people drastically underestimate how much their tastes will change in the future, according to six studies recently published in the journal Science. Meaning? You’re more likely than you think to regret decisions that have permanent consequences, like getting a tattoo.
Researchers asked more than 19,000 people between the ages of 18 and 68 to answer questionnaires on personality, values, and preferences as they would ten years ago, in the present, and ten years in the future. The results: While people in every age group said they’d changed a lot in the past decade, they estimated very little change in the future.
The reasons, the authors write, are twofold: first, people generally like themselves and their personalities; they’re threatened by the prospect of change. Second, it’s tough to imagine how you might change as you age. People confuse the difficulty of the task with the likelihood of change itself. But the belief that you are who you will always be can have practical consequences. Later in life, you might not like the guy you fell for when you were 18…or his initials inked on your lower back.
Unfortunately, you can’t undo every mistake of your youth (i.e, the pink pleather snakeskin pants you wore freshman year). That said, you can make more mindful decisions now to reduce regrets later—especially when the consequences are permanent. Case in point: tattoo art. Answer these four questions before you get skin art that you’re stuck with:
1. “Why do I want this tattoo?”
“Sometimes we like to do things that seem indelible and permanent to help us be who we want to be or stick to something we really want to stick to,” says Laurie Gerber, president and senior coach of Handel Group Life Coaching and Women’s Health advisory board member. “It can be special and spiritual if it’s like that for you.”
To assess your motive, complete this statement, and be specific: “I want a tattoo of [describe design] because…” If your reason includes a name (i.e., “to prove to [boyfriend’s name] that I will love him forever,” or “to piss off my mom”), consider less permanent ways to achieve the same result. For instance: exchange promise rings with your boyfriend, or write a letter to your mom about why she’s upsetting you. The best reasons are aspirational; the tattoo should represent the highest ideal of who you want to be, says Gerber. An example: “I want an open heart tattoo to remind myself to keep an open mind.”
2. “Does the tattoo I want represent a phase or a trend?”
Some tattoos are like fad diets: they become outdated fast. “You might regret a tattoo if it no longer speaks to you or of you well,” says Gerber. Before you brand yourself with a logo, character, or spiritual credo, remember that things and people in your life might change, even if you don’t. The same goes for beauty trends and permanent makeup: Thick eyebrows, for instance, could be in today and out tomorrow. To play it safe, use permanent makeup only to accentuate the features you have, and don’t try to create something new, like fuller lips.
3. “Why do I want a tattoo here?”
No matter where you get your tat, your body is your billboard. Think your hip is the perfect place because it’s easy to cover up? Think again—about who you want to hide the tattoo from. Consider a less prominent way to express a super-personal sentiment, like on a note that you keep with you always. And if you chose an area that tends to be exposed (i.e., your wrist, forearm, or neck) weigh the professional consequences. Are tattoos frowned upon at the tippy-top of the ladder in your line of work? Assume you’ll eventually be considered for that job, and answer honestly: Could your ink art hold you back?
4. “Will this tattoo look good when my skin doesn’t look this good?”
When skin thins or stretches, a tattoo can look like a canvas painting stretched across a broken frame: saggy and distorted. Tattoos on taut areas of skin (i.e., upper back, ankles, or forearms) are most likely to withstand the test of time. The face, neck, and upper chest are most prone to wrinkles, while your breasts, belly, hips, shoulders, upper arms, and lower back are easy targets for stretch marks from pregnancy or weight fluctuations, according to dermatologist Joshua Zeichner, M.D., director of cosmetic and clinical research at the Dermatology Department at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City.
If you still regret your tattoo…
Don’t beat yourself up. “Mistakes are there to teach you something, so joyfully take your lesson,” says Gerber. And if the image of your ex-husband’s face on your butt brings you no joy? See a dermatologist to discuss removal. Depending on the size and color of the tattoo, laser removal can cost upwards of $ 300 per treatment for up about 20 treatments—but there’s no guarantee it will work.
photo: altrendo images/Stockbyte/Thinkstock
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Life Choices: Your Decision-Making Process
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