Locking down a mentor can give you an edge in any industry, but finding the perfect match in your professional life can be almost as tough as finding one in your love life. Fortunately, new research has found that there are several key characteristics that predict effective mentor-mentee relationships, according to a paper published online in the journal Academic Medicine.
Researchers conducted interviews with 54 faculty members at two hospitals (the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine and the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine) over an 11-month period. Based on those interviews, they identified five requirements for a successful mentoring relationship: reciprocity, mutual respect, clear expectations, personal connections, and shared values.
Basically, the partnership is most effective when the mentor and mentee are on the same page. “Both should have clear expectations about what they’re hoping to get out of this and should be respectful of the other’s time,” says lead study author Sharon Straus, M.D., professor at the University of Toronto Faculty of Medicine. And, of course, chemistry is a must. “There has to be some common ground so that you feel a level of comfort,” says Straus.
Whether you’re just starting out or you’re looking to take someone under your wing, follow Straus’ tips to achieve a solid bond:
If you’re a mentee…
Be the initiator
Seek out someone in your field whose career path you admire and send them an email or have a mutual contact connect you. “Briefly outline why you contacted this person and what your career interests are,” says Straus. Then ask if they’re free to discuss the industry and a potential mentoring relationship over coffee. “Don’t be afraid to ask—it takes courage to reach out to an established colleague, but most people are happy to be approached,” she says. After you’ve made the connection, keep it going by checking in regularly and following up about what you’ve discussed.
Come prepared
Write a checklist of the topics you want to cover in each meeting. Make sure to ask about the politics of your particular industry. “One of the important roles of a mentor is helping you navigate that bureaucracy,” says Straus. Also make time to talk about your short-term and long-term goals, so they can help you stay on track. And feel free to Google your mentor, says Straus. You can use that to form more specific questions about how they got involved in different areas and how they manage their time.
Remember that they have a life, too
Chances are they’re crazy busy, so be on time and keep the conversation on point. If you need help with a paper or a recommendation, give them plenty of time to get back to you. “Otherwise it can lead to burnout for the mentor,” says Straus.
Return the favor
Introduce your mentor to a new contact they could collaborate with or invite them to an industry event as your plus-one. It’s a way to show reciprocity, says Straus, plus it gives you the chance to learn more about each other—outside of half-hour coffee dates.
If you’re a mentor…
Tailor your advice
Instead of telling mentees what to do, the best mentors actively listen and ask questions to help them come to a decision, says Straus. And avoid always relying on what worked for you. “What was right for us isn’t necessarily what’s right for them,” says Straus.
Don’t hold back criticism
It can be tempting to sugarcoat things so you don’t hurt their feelings, but you’re not doing them any favors. “Give constructive feedback, like: ‘Here’s how we can work together to strengthen this,’” says Straus. You don’t want be too harsh, but you also won’t be helping if you leave them with a weak resume.
Set them up
“Always think about what resources your mentee needs and how you can help them,” says Straus. If they come to you for something that’s beyond your expertise, link them up with someone who can help.
Get (a little) personal
Work/life balance is a huge part of the professional discussion, so don’t be shocked if your mentee brings it up. “A good mentor has to think about the entire individual,” says Straus. “We have to be prepared to talk about these things and offer advice.”
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