The Relationship Lies You’re Probably Telling

Posted on February 20, 2013 by admin

Honesty may not be the best policy when it comes to relationships. Couples lie to each other an average of three times a week, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, according to a recent study soon to be published in the journal Communication Quarterly.

Researchers looked at how often people expressed affection toward their partners even when they weren’t genuinely feeling it—otherwise known as deceptive affection. This could be anything from complimenting your guy’s haircut when you actually think it’s heinous to kissing him goodbye even when you’re really pissed.

For the study, 57 participants (one person per couple) between the ages of 18-27 kept a weeklong diary. “First we trained them on what is deceptive affection. Every time this occurred with their romantic partner they were asked to write down what they were actually feeling, what they expressed to their partner, and why,” says lead study author Sean Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor in the College of Communication at DePaul University. The research showed that participants were faking their feelings an average of three times per week, according to Horan and study co-author Melanie Booth-Butterfield, Ph.D., of West Virginia University.

So how bad is all this lying? Surprisingly, it’s not so horrible for your bond. “Although it’s very common, the motives behind it aren’t bad,” says Horan. “The most dominant motives were to avoid conflict, negative feelings, and hurting your partner.” For the most part, deception was used to help maintain the relationships. And according to researchers, these little white lies are pretty harmless. “We don’t always want to know the truth all the time,” says Horan.

That said, if your motives include covering up something major—like that you’re over the relationship or that you’ve been cheating—you’re probably doing more harm than good. “In any relationship, if you’re primarily relying on deception then problems will likely result,” says Horan.

When do you think it’s acceptable to lie in a relationship? Sound off in the comments below.

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The Smart New Decision-Making Strategy

Posted on February 19, 2013 by admin

Should you accept a new job offer, or give your ex another chance? Before making a decision, distract yourself for a few minutes—you’ll make a smarter choice, according to a new study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.

Researchers described the features of four different cars to 27 adults. Then they separated the study participants into three groups: One group evaluated the cars right away, the second group rated the cars after thinking about the pros and cons, and the third group rated the cars after performing a distracting math-memory task. In the end, the distracted group chose the most wisely.

Even when distracted, the part of the brain that’s responsible for learning information continues to be active, says study leader J. David Creswell, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Carnegie Mellon University. Meaning: You unconsciously consider your options while your attention goes elsewhere.

And that’s a good thing—especially when you face a difficult decision like where to live. That’s because it’s easy for your conscious mind to get bogged down by the details, such as the cost of rent or location. “Your conscious mind has a capacity constraint—it can only think about a couple of features at once,” says Creswell. “But your unconscious mind doesn’t have these capacity constraints. It can weigh all relevant information more effectively.”

You don’t need to rely on your id for everyday decision-making, like whether to order the chicken or the fish. But if you want to pick like a pro, distract yourself for two minutes before you deliver a verdict. The most effective distractions are completely different from the original problem, says Creswell. His favorite trick to tune out: turn up your favorite music.

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Is Your Fitness Class Safe?

Posted on February 19, 2013 by admin

Yoga may not seem like an extreme sport, but that doesn’t mean you can’t overdo it on the om-ing. In fact, a New York man is suing Hilaria Thomas—Alec Baldwin’s wife—because he sustained injuries during a yoga class she was teaching at Yoga Vida. His claims: Her overcrowded class led to instructor negligence, which resulted in his suffering severe and emotionally upsetting injuries.

Whether or not his claims bear out in court, it’s absolutely possible to harm yourself during fitness classes—and yes, even classes as low-impact as yoga. “Pushing and forcing in yoga leads to tension, stress, and even injury,” says Tara Stiles, yoga instructor and co-founder for Strala Yoga. “Staying safe in your yoga class has a lot to do with finding the ease in your practice. If something doesn’t feel right, back off and relax.”

In the meantime, read up on 6 Fitness Class Injuries and How to Avoid Them.

Who do you think is to blame for fitness class injuries? Sound off in the comments below.

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More from Women’s Health:
Stay Injury-Free
Steady as She Goes
Yoga for Everyday Athletes

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5 Amazing Things Your Brain Can Do

Posted on February 18, 2013 by admin

You know your mind is great at solving complex problems and daydreaming about Ryan Gosling, but it can do a lot more than that. Your brain can actually control everything from your sex life to your weight. But there’s a catch: If you’re not taking care of it, your brain can throw all these areas out of whack. Here, how to maximize your mind to reap big benefits in all areas of your life:

Switch Off Stress and Anxiety
Here’s the good news: Women’s brains are significantly more active than men’s brains, especially in the prefrontal cortex—the area involved in judgment, impulse control, planning, empathy, and more—says Daniel Amen, M.D., author of the new book Unleash the Power of the Female Brain. But a super-active prefrontal cortex comes with its own set of challenges. “Because of that increased activity, women also worry more and have trouble letting go of things,” Amen says. His advice: Give your brain a break with regular stress-management techniques—like meditation, guided imagery, or even a massage. “Just ten minutes a day to take your brain somewhere else will decrease cortisol production,” says Amen. And cutting that stress hormone will make you happier, wiser, and more productive.
RELATED: Outsmart Stress Traps

Control Your Sugar Cravings
That irresistible urge to devour an entire bag of chips isn’t coming from your stomach—it’s coming from your noggin. Those cravings kick in when your brain is being deprived. Low levels of vitamin D, low blood sugar, and not enough sleep are all associated with lower blood flow to the brain, says Amen, which results in bad decisions. Boost your self-control by giving your brain what it wants: eight hours of sleep, healthy snacks throughout the day, and additional supplements as directed by your doctor.
RELATED: What Your Food Cravings Say About Your Health

Ease PMS
If you turn into an irrational, carb-obsessed mess before your period, blame it on your brain—not just your hormones. “Progesterone makes you feel relaxed and estrogen helps you think clearly, and both of them drop before your cycle,” says Amen. To counteract this effect, your brain needs a boost of serotonin. Carbohydrates will do the trick (which is why bagels look even more delicious this time of the month), but make sure to quell the craving with healthy options. “A smart carb would be a sweet potato or an apple,” says Amen. Still feeling cranky? Go for a run. Exercising gives you a huge boost of serotonin.
RELATED: 9 Ways to Get Relief From PMS

Have Better Sex
Because women’s brains are built to multitask, it can be difficult for you to focus solely on pleasure while having sex. “Where you direct your attention before and during sex will either enhance it or diminish it,” says Amen. So focus it somewhere hot—like your guy’s amazing arms or the sensations you’re feeling. It takes a little training, but the end result is a big O. Bonus: Have your guy give you a foot massage to get you in the mood. “Your feet are right next to your clitoris in the brain,” says Amen, so any activation in that area will boost your arousal even more.
RELATED: Have Better Sex This Winter

Increase Your Intuition
There’s a reason why women tend to have more gut feelings than men: Female brains are actually better at reading social cues and picking up on subtle differences. But just because your brain notices something—like an awkward glance from a coworker—that doesn’t mean you’ll always interpret it correctly. “It’s important to honor it, but at the same time question it,” says Amen. Plus, your gut is more likely to be wrong if you’re running on too little sleep or food. “There are different ways we tend to distort things, so you want to be good at talking back to your brain,” says Amen. The good news: The more you question your instincts, the better you’ll get at interpreting your gut.
RELATED: Trust Your Gut Instincts Or Obey Your Brain?

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How the Weather Screws With Your Weight

Posted on February 15, 2013 by admin

When it’s too wet or snowy to wear sneakers outdoors, it can feel too wet and snowy to work out. Case in point: A new poll conducted by Gallup-Healthways found that after Hurricane Sandy, people living on the east coast were twice as likely to skip exercise than people in less affected parts of the country. Adults in the tri-state area were also up to 13 percent less likely to work out regularly after the hurricane, and 7 percent less likely to eat healthfully.

Of course, power outages, serious stress, and higher priorities like cleanup efforts might have skewed the results for good reason. But the truth is, most people tend to exercise less in the winter, anyway. And it makes sense: when it’s cold and dark outside, most people prefer to curl up under covers.

“Weather is such a socially acceptable excuse, we grab it and run—or rather, sit on the couch,” says life coach Laurie Gerber, president of Handel Group Life Coaching. But making excuses and skipping workouts won’t actually make you feel better. And it’ll definitely make you feel worse in the springtime, when it’s harder to hide the evidence of winter laziness: extra pounds.

So, save the excuses for when you’re late for work, and motivate yourself to move in any weather with these tips:

Set a consequence
One reason people aren’t as committed to working out in the winter: Because the consequences (a few extra pounds) are easy enough to hide under bulky sweaters and coats. To prevent a rude awakening this spring, set consequences for skipped gym sessions that you’ll notice now. For instance, if you don’t work out three times this week, commit to sending a Jackson to your least favorite politician. Or take a 2-minute cold shower. Or sleep without a pillow. And tell your housemates to hold you to your word. “This way, your brain will work for you with creative solutions to the weather, rather than convincing you that exercising is unreasonable,” says Gerber.

Save special workouts for awful weather
“When the weather sucks and you can’t imagine leaving the house—don’t,” says fitness expert Dasha Libin, MS, NASM-PES, creator of Kettlebell Kickboxing. Her solution: pop in a workout DVD. Start a collection of yoga, dance, and niche-fitness DVDs before you’re snowed or rained in, but don’t try them. When the next storm hits, you’ll actually be excited to tear off the plastic and try something new.

Try a new winter workout
Snowboarding, skiing, and ice-skating are made for winter, and are also fantastic cardio workouts. Plus, cold conditions boost your metabolic rate to help you burn slightly more calories, according to a 2011 University of Utah study. Plan some trips that you’re excited about, even if it’s just to the local ice skating rink.

Meet your fitness buddy online
There’s no question: a workout wife is a good thing to have. After all, it’s hard to skip a workout when your friend is waiting for you at the gym. That said, you’ll really disappoint her if you risk your life to meet up in severe weather. Instead, use Skype or Facetime to sweat it out together: just pick an at-home workout here, and share the link with your friend. Then turn on the camera, and perform the moves in a place that’s safe, dry, and well lit (so you can see each other).

Give in to your guilty pleasure…with a commercial-break combo
Go ahead–curl up and watch that Housewives, Smash, or Mindy Project marathon. During each commercial break, though, set out to break a sweat with Libin’s four-move workout: do 10 push ups, 10 squat jumps, 30 alternating rear lunges, and finish with a plank hold until the show returns.

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Scary News About STDs

Posted on February 15, 2013 by admin

In terrifying sex news, a recent CDC report estimates that there are more than 19.7 million new sexually transmitted infections in the U.S. each year. While many of these infections are treatable and even curable, they commonly go undetected because they often have no signs or symptoms.

Case in point: The most common infection, HPV, often presents without any symptoms at all. “About 70% of all new infections are HPV infections,” says study author Catherine Lindsey Satterwhite, Ph.D., epidemiologist with the CDC. Most of those cases will go away on their own, but few can lead to genital warts or even cervical cancer.

Before you swear off sex altogether, remember that there are plenty of preventative measures you can—and should!—take. Here, the tips you need to stay safe:

Be smart about condoms
They may not be foolproof, but condoms are your best line of defense (other than abstinence) against STDs. “The big thing to remember with HPV is that it’s transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, so even when using condoms you’re not going to have full protection, because there is plenty of genital skin that doesn’t get covered,” says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., author of V is for Vagina. The same goes for the herpes virus. But don’t let that deter you from using protection. It still offers significant protection against infections such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and others.
RELATED: When Is It OK To Go Without a Condom?

Get tested regularly
For women aged 21-30, doctors suggest getting a pap smear once every three years, as well as a screening for common STDs and HIV annually. Women over 30 should also expect an HPV test along with their pap smear every five years. “If you’re with a new partner, anticipating being with a partner, or if you have multiple partners, you should get tested,” says Dweck.
RELATED: Types of STDS: Trouble Down Below

Ask your doctor about any irregularities
Even if your next screening isn’t for two years, you should always see your doctor if symptoms pop up. “Any weird bumps, abnormal bleeding after sex, or signs of an infection may be concerning,” says Dweck. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, call up your gyno.
RELATED: 7 Surprising STD Facts

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Are You Getting Enough Vitamin D?

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

When sunshine is scarce, vitamin D can be pretty hard to come by–it’s why most doctors recommend supplements. But even if you follow your doctor’s orders, you might be taking the wrong dose: some supplement manufacturers significantly under- or overestimate the potency of their pills, according to new research published in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine.

Researchers in Portland, Oregon tested 55 bottles of OTC vitamin D from a dozen different brands. The results: some pills contained just 9 percent of the amount promised on the label. Meanwhile, other brands had almost 1.5 times the designated dose, and pill potency even varied among different pills in the same bottle.

Most people expect a product’s label to precisely reflect the contents. But it’s actually fairly standard for supplement contents to fluctuate a little within a safe range—plus or minus about ten percent. However, this new study reveals that vitamin amounts vary much more than once thought. Such high variation could be a sign of sloppy manufacturing and potential danger, says study author Erin LeBlanc, M.D., an epidemiologist and board-certified endocrinologist.

Don’t freak out about potential overdose, though. “The real concern is not getting the full amount you think you’re getting—especially because you might not notice,” says LeBlanc. After all, skimping on vitamin D heightens your risk of depression, heart disease, pregnancy problems, birth defects, skin cancer, and multiple sclerosis.

If you’ve had low levels of D in the past and feel weak or confused, see your doctor pronto. And if you feel fine, but still want to get the vitamin D dose you’re paying for? Stick to supplements with a U.S. Pharmacopeial Verified Mark, which are more likely to contain what’s promised on the label, says LeBlanc. To find out whether the bottle you have contains what it claims to, check here.

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The Simple Health Change You Need to Make

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

Don’t pass the salt, please. If the average American scales back her sodium intake to 2,200 mg per day (that’s 40 percent less than the 3,600 mg currently consumed!), it could save between 280,000 and 500,000 American lives over a 10-year period, according to a new article published in the journal Hypertension.

The results come from findings of three separate studies on sodium intake and death rates. All three studies found that less sodium led to hundreds of thousands of fewer deaths from cardiovascular disease (CVD).

“Sodium is related to blood pressure and blood pressure is a major cause of heart disease and stroke,” says Pamela Coxson , PhD, mathematician with the Division of General and Internal Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, and one of the study authors. “If you lower sodium intake, your blood pressure goes down.”

And consider these scary stats: Heart disease is more fatal to American women than any other disease—over 400,000 deaths in American women are caused by CVD each year, according to The National Coalition for Women with Heart Disease. And it’s no wonder, considering the average American consumes 3,600 mg of sodium each day, a whopping 2,100 mg more than the amount recommended by the CDC.

Want to slash your risk? Cut the salt to 2,200 mg per day. “The main thing that helps is to shift the balance of foods to fresh foods and away from processed foods,” says Coxson. “Eighty percent of sodium in our diet comes from processed foods.” And carb-lovers, beware: Bread in particular is the biggest source of sodium for the typical person in the US, she says.

Click here for 10 sinister sources of salt (plus, reduced-sodium suggestions for each).

And click here for the 25 saltiest foods in America.

Want to know your risk for heart disease? Click here to use the heart disease risk calculator from the Mayo Clinic.

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More from WH:
Heart-Healthy Recipes
5 Steps to a Healthy Heart
Why You Should Crank Up Your Cardio
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5 Ways to Make the Honeymoon Phase Last

Posted on February 13, 2013 by admin

If that can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other passion has been long missing from your relationship, don’t freak out just yet. Most couples make a shift from romance to routine by their second anniversary, says sex and relationships counselor Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First and founder of Good in Bed. It’s part of deepening intimacy and a more stable commitment between the two of you.

But that doesn’t mean your relationship can’t benefit from some extra spark. Here, five expert-approved ways to relive your honeymoon phase year after year:

Mix Up Date Night
“The infatuation phase of relationships involves the spiking of a potent neurochemical cocktail, so it’s really as though couples are under the influence,” says Kerner. Luckily you can mix a similar dopamine and norepinephrine cocktail by simply doing new things with your man, according to research from the State University of New York at Stony Brook. What’s more, when your body is physiologically aroused (think: slippery palms and a racing heart) you associate that feeling with whatever’s in your environment… like each other. In one Stony Brook study, couples that participated in “exciting” activities reported greater marriage satisfaction than those who engaged in “pleasant” activities together. On your next date night, try taking a rock-climbing class or going after each other in a heated game of laser tag. Get the blood pumping, and you’ll feel the rush.
RELATED: 5 Valentine’s Day Dates Your Guy Will Love

See Things a New Way
The next time you and your guy have a fight, try to envision it from an outside, neutral perspective. Practicing this third-party assessment trick can help make you feel like you’re back in the honeymoon phase, according to a new study from Northwestern University. In the study, researchers asked 60 couples with declining relationship satisfaction to write about their disagreements for seven minutes, three times a year—from a neutral perspective. When the year was up, their decline in relationship satisfaction, passion, and sexual desire was completely halted. Try it yourself: The next time you and your guy go at it, take some time after to write out a perfectly neutral assessment of how it all went down. You don’t necessarily need to share your notes with him, but the act of putting yourself in an outside perspective can help you take a more balanced approach to the situation, rather than focusing exclusively on your feelings and how hurt or angry you are.
RELATED: 4 Strategies to Stop Relationship Arguments

Schedule Sex
The more often you have sex, the better. Period. Regular sex makes both of you produce more libido-revving testosterone so you’ll start going at it like rabbits even without a schedule. And couples that have regular sex are 65 percent more likely to be happy in their relationship, according to research published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. So as not to bruise your guy’s manhood, say “I really miss having sex with you.” Schedule sexy-time once a week, so even if you miss a bout you won’t go a whole month sans loving.
RELATED: Boring Sex, Begone!

Keep the Mystery Alive
If familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, it definitely breeds indifference. Studies have shown that attraction relies on constant and lasting discovery of your partner. And the strongest individuals build the strongest bonds, Kerner says. So avoid texting each other real-time updates on every aspect of your life and give each other space. Try scheduling some guys and girls nights out, or even separate vacations with friends, he suggests.
RELATED: 6 Ways to Strengthen Your Friendships

Get Physical
Olivia Newton-John was right. Exercise makes you want to have sex. Exercise boosts your sex drive, mood, and clears your mind of clutter than can get in the way of any woman’s O, Kerner says. And if you’ve been considering welcoming a little blue pill into your bed, consider a gym date instead: In one study of 31,000 men, researchers from the Harvard School of Public Health found that those who exercised vigorously for 20 to 30 minutes a day were 30 percent less likely to report erectile dysfunction than were couch potatoes.
RELATED: The Do-Anywhere CrossFit Workout

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More from Women’s Health:
When Less Romance is More
Improve Your Sex Life
Build a Better Relationship

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What to Expect When You’re Expecting (After 35)

Posted on February 13, 2013 by admin

It’s no longer unusual for a woman to pop out a baby in her late 30s or early 40s (see trendsetting new moms like Uma, Halle, Salma, and Tina). And while most of these pregnancies go smoothly, the fact is, maternal medicine experts classify them as “high risk” because older mothers are more likely to face complications that can affect their health as well as the health of their baby. If you’re planning on welcoming a bambino after age 35, congratulations! Just keep the following considerations in mind.

Conceiving can take longer
Unfair but true: female fertility dips slightly when a woman is in her early 30s, and after 35, it nosedives. A 30-year-old has a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant per cycle, but by the time she’s 40, her odds sink to 5 percent per cycle, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. If you’ve been going at it for six months with no luck, check in with a fertility specialist, who may be able to diagnose the roadblock, suggests Alyssa Dweck, ob-gyn and coauthor of V Is for Vagina. Many of the things that make it tougher for older moms to conceive can be treated, such as uterine fibroids or irregular periods.

Genetic defects are more common
Sure, you look young and fit on the outside, but by your late 30s, your eggs are senior citizens, and they don’t divide as well upon conception. That increases the odds of an embryo with chromosomal problems, which in turn may result in miscarriage or birth defects, experts say. Seeing your obstetrician for a blood test at 10 weeks and then an early ultrasound at 12 weeks (along with the full anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks) can pick up the majority of genetic abnormalities and let you know if the baby is developing properly, says Dweck says.

You’re at greater risk of pregnancy-threatening conditions
Gestational diabetes and high blood pressure are just some of the medical issues more likely to strike pregnant moms over 35. If left untreated, they can trigger serious health snags for them or their babies. Make sure your doctor is aware of any family history of these or other chronic conditions; the right time to inform her is during a preconception exam, when your ob-gyn evaluates your health before you start baby-making to suss out potential obstacles. And go to all your scheduled prenatal appointments, so if one of these conditions does develop, your doctor can catch it early and monitor you closely, advises Dweck.

You may have a tougher delivery
Complications that develop around the time of delivery, such as placenta previa (when the placenta blocks the cervix), are more common in older moms. Women over age 35 are also more likely to have prolonged labor lasting more than 20 hours and excessive bleeding during delivery, and end up needing a C-section more often than younger moms do. You may want to speak with a doula or birthing coach about how to emotionally prepare for such an event well before the due date.

Twins and triplets are more likely
The chances of having multiples increases in your late 30s, even if you don’t use fertility treatments, according to a 2012 CDC report. What’s the drawback to rolling out more than one bundle of joy? The more babies a woman carries per pregnancy, the greater her risk of delivering early and/or having low birth-weight preemies, who may end up with lingering health issues.

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Author Archives: admin

The Relationship Lies You’re Probably Telling

The Smart New Decision-Making Strategy

Is Your Fitness Class Safe?

5 Amazing Things Your Brain Can Do

How the Weather Screws With Your Weight

Scary News About STDs

Are You Getting Enough Vitamin D?

The Simple Health Change You Need to Make

5 Ways to Make the Honeymoon Phase Last

What to Expect When You’re Expecting (After 35)