Remove that bookmark to your former flame’s Facebook page. Staying connected to an ex on Facebook can halt your recovery from the breakup and stunt your personal growth, according to a new study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking.
Researchers asked 464 people to answer questions about a past distressing breakup, including how much time had passed since the split, which partner initiated it, and how much contact they’ve had with their ex since calling it quits.
After crunching the data, researchers found that remaining friends on Facebook actually resulted in less desire, attraction, and longing for the ex. But those who consistently kept tabs on their ex’s page were more likely to feel distressed, lonely, and hung-up on the breakup. (You don’t have to be stuck in a rut forever. Heal your broken heart with this: Yoga Exercises to Get Over a Breakup.)
Ultimately, Facebook isn’t really to blame for your lack of closure. Instead, it’s not having enough self-control—plus a persistent need to seek out information—that leaves you permanently bitter from the breakup, says Tara C. Marshall, Ph.D., lead study author and psychologist at Brunel University in England.
So what’s a girl to do if she can’t nix her addiction to sifting through his pictures and status updates? Unfriend, unfollow, and un . . . whatever it is you do on Instagram. But that’s not enough—you also have to ditch anything that remotely reminds you of him, says Melysha Acharya, founder of BrokenHeartedGirl.com.
“Get rid of that blanket you cuddled together under, move your bed, buy a new bedspread, and rearrange your couch and your flatscreen so the familiar look of your living room doesn’t stir up old memories,” Acharya says.
You heard it here first: The best way to quit your ex is to go cold turkey.
Additional reporting by Denny Watkins
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