5 Money Lies Your Boss Is Telling You

The number of calories in a carrot versus a Big Mac. The price of a Jason Wu dress compared to a Jason Wu for Target dress. The hotness quotient of Ryan Gosling…or Meatloaf. There are some things that you don’t expect to be equal. One thing you do? The amount of money you and a male coworker earn—for doing the same exact job.

According to a recent study from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women working full-time in 2012 made 80.9 percent of what men took home in weekly pay—a drop from 82.2 percent in 2011. In terms of annual salary, women lagged even further, earning just 77 percent of what men raked in, a half a percentage point down from 2011. That means women made an average of $ 691 a week in 2012 (less than in 2011), while men earned about $ 854, a small gain over their 2011 pay.

Part of the reason for the discrepancy is that women often don’t negotiate as much as men do. It’s intimidating—especially given a lot of the lines bosses like to dole out, like “You’ll get fired if you tell any of your coworkers what you make” or “We can only give cost of living increases.” The thing is, these statements—and several others your boss may make to stand in the way of you and a pay increase—just aren’t true. Business coach Lisa Gates, cofounder of She Negotiates, a company that provides negotiation training for women, debunks some of the most common whoppers—and explains savvy ways to get around them.

“We don’t have the budget for raises this year.”
First, research how your employer’s faring. For public companies, go to Google.com/finance, enter the name of the organization, click on it, and then go to the “financials” link on the left-hand side of the screen to see a summary of profits and losses. If you work for a private company, scan their website for an annual report, or check business journals in your area—they often publish special issues detailing local financial statements. If you find out income is up? “Tell your boss that you know the organization’s doing x percent better than last year, and explain how you’ve contributed to the bottom line,” Gates says. Another tip: Your company might have a separate budget for bonuses versus salaries, so brainstorm with your boss about whether there are any extra pockets of money to tap into. On the other hand, if your workplace is legitimately under financial stress, request other incentives instead—like more vacation, working from home once a week, a nicer office, or an assistant.

“Sharing compensation information is prohibited.”
It’s actually against the law to forbid staffers from discussing salaries—it violates the National Labor Relations Act. And since knowing where you rank helps you gauge whether the raise you’re requesting is reasonable, it’s worth asking trusted colleagues. “That said, if you’re only talking to female coworkers, you’re not getting a clear picture of the pay scale across genders,” Gates points out. Instead, see if you’re underpaid at sites like GlassDoor.com or GetRaised.com. Then you can go to your boss armed with accurate info to help you achieve salary parity.

“There’s a pay structure we need to keep in place so you won’t be making more than your higher-ups.”
BS alert: If sharing compensation information is “forbidden,” how would your coworker know you’d surpassed her? In any event, the best retort is to propose being given a new title that better reflects your job description. Gates suggests having a conversation with your boss about the job you were originally hired for, and how what you’re actually doing goes above and beyond that. And what goes great with a promotion? A raise, of course.

“It’s not time for raises.”
“Typically, budgets are established at a certain date,” Gates agrees, “But this could also be corporate code for, ‘I just don’t want to give you more money.’” Respond by asking your boss, “When will that time be, and what do I need to do to put myself in line for a raise?” Frame it like a discussion, not a demand: Tell her what you’ve accomplished, and ask her to help you fill in any blanks so you know what goals you need to meet to ensure you make bank in the future.

“Corporate doesn’t allow raises bigger than the standard cost of living increase.”
Compensation almost always has some wiggle-room, but your boss may have to go to bat for you by asking her higher-up for more money. Since she’s probably reluctant to rock the boat, you need to prove it’s worth her while. “Using specific examples, lay out what you’ve done to boost profits and productivity, and explain that your salary should correlate with those results,” Gates says. If she still gives you pushback, say something like, “In my research, I’ve discovered that the market value of my position is x. I want to continue to help you hit your targets and exceed them, to be as valuable to you as I possibly can. In return, I’d like you to value my contribution, too. Can we brainstorm ways we can meet each other’s needs?” Calling out the fact that you’ve done your homework shows her you know what you’re talking about, and emphasizing how your getting a raise is also beneficial to her softens things.

“You’re already at the top of the pay scale.”
If your company uses a pay scale (a tiered salary system commonly used in union, government, and public jobs to ensure equal compensation for everyone with a certain level of experience), find out whether the salaries they offer are in line with the rest of the market by checking websites like GlassDoor.com or the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Making less than your peers in a similar line of work? Print out those reports, bring them to your boss, and say, “It seems there’s a disparity in the salary range for my position, and I’d like to talk about re-benchmarking the pay scale. Can we review the classification so that it’s more in line with what my research shows me?” If possible, have the conversation over lunch to set a relaxed tone. “Starting off with small talk, like asking about her kids or vacation plans, releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which makes her more receptive,” Gates says. “Plus, it’s hard to be contentious when you’re enjoying delicious food.”

photo: Photodisc/Thinkstock

More From Women’s Health:
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Love Your Job: Meaning Is the New Money

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The Relationship Lies You’re Probably Telling

Honesty may not be the best policy when it comes to relationships. Couples lie to each other an average of three times a week, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, according to a recent study soon to be published in the journal Communication Quarterly.

Researchers looked at how often people expressed affection toward their partners even when they weren’t genuinely feeling it—otherwise known as deceptive affection. This could be anything from complimenting your guy’s haircut when you actually think it’s heinous to kissing him goodbye even when you’re really pissed.

For the study, 57 participants (one person per couple) between the ages of 18-27 kept a weeklong diary. “First we trained them on what is deceptive affection. Every time this occurred with their romantic partner they were asked to write down what they were actually feeling, what they expressed to their partner, and why,” says lead study author Sean Horan, Ph.D., assistant professor in the College of Communication at DePaul University. The research showed that participants were faking their feelings an average of three times per week, according to Horan and study co-author Melanie Booth-Butterfield, Ph.D., of West Virginia University.

So how bad is all this lying? Surprisingly, it’s not so horrible for your bond. “Although it’s very common, the motives behind it aren’t bad,” says Horan. “The most dominant motives were to avoid conflict, negative feelings, and hurting your partner.” For the most part, deception was used to help maintain the relationships. And according to researchers, these little white lies are pretty harmless. “We don’t always want to know the truth all the time,” says Horan.

That said, if your motives include covering up something major—like that you’re over the relationship or that you’ve been cheating—you’re probably doing more harm than good. “In any relationship, if you’re primarily relying on deception then problems will likely result,” says Horan.

When do you think it’s acceptable to lie in a relationship? Sound off in the comments below.

photo: iStockPhoto/Thinkstock

More from Women’s Health:
Is He Keeping Secrets?
4 Strategies to Stop Arguing
10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples

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What Your Doctor Isn’t Telling You

Everyone is human—including your doctor. Unfortunately, that means that even the men and women in white coats make mistakes sometimes. But here’s the scary thing: A new study from Johns Hopkins University shows patients are rarely informed about medication errors. In addition, while men and women in Intensive Care Units (ICU) are most likely to experience harmful mistakes, they’re the least likely to be told about them.

Researchers looked at a database of more than a million medication errors from 1999 to 2005, voluntarily disclosed from 537 hospitals. Prevalent mistakes mostly involved omissions, like failing to administer medication to a patient. The most costly errors had to do with incorrectly dosing a patient and problems with IV lines. About 6.6 percent of the errors occurred in ICU, while the rest happened in non-ICU areas of hospitals. While blunders didn’t hurt the patient 98 percent of the time, the rate of harmful errors doubled in the fragile Intensive Care Unit.

Worst still, hospitals only took action half the time just after a mistake, and only let families in on the error in 2 percent of cases. “What surprised us most was what we do about [errors] regardless of where they happen, at least in the immediate time around when they occur,” says lead researcher Asad Latif, M.D., assistant professor of Anesthesiology and Critical Care Medicine at Johns Hopkins. “We need to really look into what the consequences of medication errors is in our hospitals.”

While Latif acknowledges that hospitals may have taken corrective action after the error was reported to the database studied, the resolutions need to happen faster. “Many of the actions we looked at, such as informing the involved staff and the patients and their caregivers, would best be taken in the immediate aftermath of any mistake, when it is still fresh,” he says.

You can play a role in making sure you get the necessary updates regarding mistakes, and also prevent them before they happen. Latif suggests the following:

Do a Double-Check
Before you take new meds in a hospital setting, ask your doc the specifics of what you’re getting. The study revealed most mistakes happen during the administration phase, so asking will both inform you and remind your doctor to look twice at what he’s doling out. “This can act as a final double-check,” Latif says.

Ask After a Change
Any environmental changes — you move floors, find yourself dealing with a new doctor or start a new medication — should prompt you to ask medication questions again. For instance, ask the doc what dose you should be getting, and for how long, Latif advises.

Write Down Home Meds
Even if you’re not hospitalized and don’t plan to be, continuously keep track of all pills you’re taking to keep physicians accurately updated in an emergency. “Keep home medications written down, along with their dose and timings, to guarantee that hospitals get them right if they are admitted,” Latif says.

Don’t Become Paranoid
While fear of being kept in the dark is scary, do realize that medication errors are few and far between, and even fewer result in harm to the patient. Latif says not to become alarmed if your doc informs you of a mistake, but you should “inquire about the nature of the error, and what was done as a result of it.” Keep notes to help you to remember exactly what happened, in case you need to ask further questions about it later.

photo: Hemera/Thinkstock

More from WH:
3 Tricks to Alleviate Pain
6 Traits of a Good Doctor
3 Ways to Have a Better Doctor’s Office Visit

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javahut healthy feed

What Your Doctor Isn’t Telling You

Everyone is human—including your doctor. Unfortunately, that means that even the men and women in white coats make mistakes sometimes. But here’s the scary thing: A new study from Johns Hopkins University shows patients are rarely informed about medication errors. In addition, while men and women in Intensive Care Units (ICU) are most likely to experience harmful mistakes, they’re the least likely to be told about them.

Researchers looked at a database of more than a million medication errors from 1999 to 2005, voluntarily disclosed from 537 hospitals. Prevalent mistakes mostly involved omissions, like failing to administer medication to a patient. The most costly errors had to do with incorrectly dosing a patient and problems with IV lines. About 6.6 percent of the errors occurred in ICU, while the rest happened in non-ICU areas of hospitals. While blunders didn’t hurt the patient 98 percent of the time, the rate of harmful errors doubled in the fragile Intensive Care Unit.

Worst still, hospitals only took action half the time just after a mistake, and only let families in on the error in 2 percent of cases. “What surprised us most was what we do about [errors] regardless of where they happen, at least in the immediate time around when they occur,” says lead researcher Asad Latif, M.D., assistant professor of Anesthesiology and Critical Care Medicine at Johns Hopkins. “We need to really look into what the consequences of medication errors is in our hospitals.”

While Latif acknowledges that hospitals may have taken corrective action after the error was reported to the database studied, the resolutions need to happen faster. “Many of the actions we looked at, such as informing the involved staff and the patients and their caregivers, would best be taken in the immediate aftermath of any mistake, when it is still fresh,” he says.

You can play a role in making sure you get the necessary updates regarding mistakes, and also prevent them before they happen. Latif suggests the following:

Do a Double-Check
Before you take new meds in a hospital setting, ask your doc the specifics of what you’re getting. The study revealed most mistakes happen during the administration phase, so asking will both inform you and remind your doctor to look twice at what he’s doling out. “This can act as a final double-check,” Latif says.

Ask After a Change
Any environmental changes — you move floors, find yourself dealing with a new doctor or start a new medication — should prompt you to ask medication questions again. For instance, ask the doc what dose you should be getting, and for how long, Latif advises.

Write Down Home Meds
Even if you’re not hospitalized and don’t plan to be, continuously keep track of all pills you’re taking to keep physicians accurately updated in an emergency. “Keep home medications written down, along with their dose and timings, to guarantee that hospitals get them right if they are admitted,” Latif says.

Don’t Become Paranoid
While fear of being kept in the dark is scary, do realize that medication errors are few and far between, and even fewer result in harm to the patient. Latif says not to become alarmed if your doc informs you of a mistake, but you should “inquire about the nature of the error, and what was done as a result of it.” Keep notes to help you to remember exactly what happened, in case you need to ask further questions about it later.

photo: Hemera/Thinkstock

More from WH:
3 Tricks to Alleviate Pain
6 Traits of a Good Doctor
3 Ways to Have a Better Doctor’s Office Visit

Discover surprising walking tips, tricks, and techniques to melt fat fast and get a tighter, firmer butt with Walk Your Butt Off! Buy it now!

javahut healthy feed