In totally unfortunate news, sex doesn’t burn nearly as many calories you think, according to a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

A team of researchers from the University of Alabama at Birmingham debunked the widely held optimistic myth that having sex burns anywhere from 100 to 300 calories. According to their calculations, a 154-lb man doing the deed would burn only about 3.5 calories per minute! They didn’t speculate about the calories a woman would burn, but it’s fair to extrapolate: Not many.

Now there’s bound to be a little wiggle room depending on your weight and—let’s be real—the position. Plus, it seems obvious that a slow and sensual night would burn way fewer calories than a rip-each-other’s-clothes-off night. Regardless, the facts show that hooking up is definitely no excuse to skip the gym.

But you’re not really having sex as a way to whittle your waistline, right? To get your heart pumping in the bedroom for the right reasons (like, say, experiencing major pleasure), try these five ahh-mazing positions. These moves are so hot, the calories you’re burning (or aren’t) will be the LAST thing on your mind!

Face Off

Stand and Deliver

Ballet Dancer

Cowgirl’s Helper

The Seashell

More from Women’s Health:
Get Out of Bed! (And Have Awesome Sex) 
The Better-Sex Workout
Twists That Will Make You Shout

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