6 Secrets of Powerful People

There’s a reason why Beyonce and Kate Middleton always look so zen: Powerful people are happier because they feel more authentic, according to a new study published in the journal Psychological Science.

Researchers conducted online surveys in both the U.S. and Israel. They found that dispositional power (feeling that you’re in control and have a level of power) predicted happiness, and that was the case across several different platforms, including their career, relationship, and friendships.

So how do these pros balance power and happiness? The study showed that feeling powerful also made you feel more authentic. Basically, being a big deal (or at least thinking you are) makes you more likely to be true to yourself. When you feel powerful, you’re less worried about the opinions and evaluations of others, says lead study author Yona Kifer, doctoral study at Tel Aviv University. Essentially, you stop trying so hard to impress everyone.

Not planning to become a CEO or celebrity anytime soon? You don’t necessarily need to be in a position of power to reap the benefits. “In fact, perceived power may be more important than actual power,” says Kifer. Here, sneaky ways to score more authority in all areas of your life:

De-Clutter Your Space
If your desk is looking like a scene from Hoarders, tidy it up for a boost of control. “When your desk is cluttered, that causes stress and makes us feel helpless, which is the opposite of perceived power,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You. For a quick fix, pick up a desk caddy and cord organizer. Then add a few storage bins to your space so you can keep the less essential work out of view.

Focus On What You Can Control
If you’re drowning in paperwork and feeling totally helpless during the week, take five minutes to think about how you’ll spend your next day off. Downton Abbey marathon? Brunch with your guy? “Focusing in on that sense of control, you’ll start to feel like you do have power that you were taking for granted,” says Lombardo.

Be the social planner
Even if you’re generally the go-with-the-flow one of your friend group, stepping up now and then can make you more satisfied with your friendships. Pick out the next happy hour spot or sign you and your friends up for a new bootcamp class. “It allows you to have the power in terms of coming up with new ideas, and you get the chance to do things that you’re really interested in,” says Lombardo. That increases power and authenticity for a double happiness boost.

Practice speaking up
Exuding authority at work requires some effort. To feel (and look!) more powerful, follow the lead of your outspoken peers. The key: Bring up a relevant point that you’re actually passionate about—like the results of a new project you’re working on—instead of just speaking to be heard. “That way, you’re exhibiting your power as well as being authentic,” says Lombardo.

Boss your guy around a little
Feeling power in your bond was associated with happiness, but that doesn’t mean you have to call all the shots.  Just having the control to suggest new things—like choosing a cool date spot or trying something extra-hot in bed—can boost your perception of power in the relationship, says Lombardo.

Own up to your relationship mistakes
Just as crucial: Taking responsibility for rough spots, no matter who is at fault. “When you’re unhappy in a relationship, we often disempower ourselves by saying it’s all their fault or wishing he would do this or that,” says Lombardo. Instead, focus on the one thing you can change—yourself. “Realize your role in the discontent and think of what you can do to change it.”

photo: CollectionNameTK/Thinkstock

More from Women’s Health:
How To Get What You Want
How To Be Happy
Job Skills: Impress Your Boss

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Why Powerful Men Cheat

 
cheatingYou can’t fire up your laptop these days without encountering news of yet another sordid sex scandal involving a powerful, allegedly smart (and usually elected to office) man.

Even the unshockable among us were, well, shocked to discover that David Petraeus, Director of the Central Intelligence Agency and four-star general, had handed in his resignation as a result of an affair with Paula Broadwell, his biographer and running partner.

But Petraeus is just the latest inductee into the cheating hall of shame. Let’s enumerate some of the raunchy revelations of the past few years, shall we? Arnold Schwarzenegger (cheated on Maria Shriver with their longtime housekeeper, with whom he secretly fathered a child); Anthony Weiner (tweeted photos of his privates to a college student, among others); John Edwards (fathered a child out of wedlock while his now-deceased wife was battling cancer); South Carolina governor Mark Sanford (misused state funds to visit his mistress in Argentina); Louisiana senator David Vitter (admitted to hiring hookers); New York governor Eliot Spitzer (hookers, again).

What’s most confounding is why. Many of these men seemed to have it all—bright wives, bright futures—until their appalling antics sent their careers and marriages into a nosedive. With the help of psychologists and behavioral experts, we examine what’s behind this epidemic of idiocy.

Click here to discover why such otherwise smart men do such stupid, sleazy things.

photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock

 
More from WH:
Who Cheats More: Women or Men?
Fidelity: It’s Not a Myth
The Average Woman and Cheating

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