It’s been a bad month for pet-loving celebs. Last week, one of Miley Cyrus’ dogs, Lila, died, just days after Kim Kardashian’s 4-month-old teacup Persian kitten, Mercy, passed away from a cancer-like virus, according to E! News. Both stars announced the deaths online to their fans. “My heart has never been so broken…,” Cyrus tweeted. The news comes weeks after Fiona Apple postponed tour dates to be with her tumor-stricken, 13-year-old pit bull, Janet, in her last days, according to Reuters.

“She’s my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor and she’s the one who taught me what love is,” Apple wrote in the four-page hand-written letter she posted on her Facebook page explaining the decision.

These celebrities certainly aren’t alone in their feelings. About 9 in 10 pet owners think of their pets as members of the family, according to a Harris Interactive poll. Following the death of their pet, about 30 percent of people experience grief that lasts at least six months, while 12 percent experience severe grief that results in major life disruption, according to researchers from the University of Hawaii.

“Pets are anchors in our lives. They provide nurturing and unconditional love, love that we don’t even always receive from other people, says Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and author of When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing. “The loss of a pet is a major life event.”

However, after the death of a pet, many owners experience what psychologists call “disenfranchised grief,” the pain of a loss that’s not openly acknowledged or socially supported. Subsequently, their grief can worsen into clinical depression, low self-esteem, and withdrawal, making healthful strategies vital to processing the death of a pet. “While we all feel grief at the loss of a pet, what integrates that loss into our lives and softens the sadness is the act of mourning,” Wolfe says. It is important to recognize that the feelings associated with the loss of a pet—such as sadness, anger, disbelief, and regret—are all normal and deserve expression, he says. Bottling up intense feelings can lead to deep resentment and is stressful on the body, which can make you more vulnerable to illness.

Here, five ways to say goodbye and cope with the loss of your furry family member:

Celebrate his life
A memorial service can provide a safe space for you and those close to your pet to share stories and openly express emotions, Wolfelt says. Consider holding a small celebration of life ceremony at home or contacting a pet funeral home. They are present in most major cities and offer burial and cremation services as well as caskets, urns, and grave markers designed for pets. From lighting candles to donating money to an organization that benefits animals, commemorate your pet’s life will help you say goodbye.

Take time off
While about seven in 10 private sector employees get paid bereavement time off, that time rarely extends to the loss of a pet. Still, you may need to take a day or two off of work to regain your sense of equilibrium, says Wolfelt, who notes that many people experience lethargy and mental disorientation after a pet’s death. If your boss is a fellow pet owner, explain your situation to her, or simply take a sick day. No explanation necessary.

Lean on the right friends
About two-thirds of the people in your life will make you feel worse—or at least not better—about the loss of your pet with poorly chosen comments like “You can always get another one,” or “Be glad you don’t have to take care of him any more,” according to Wolfelt. “Surround yourself with the select people who affirm and understand the significance of your pet in your life and support you,” he says. Getting involved in a pet loss support group or visiting a grief counselor can also help you work through your emotions.

Protect your health
Emotional stressors exact a great deal of energy from your body, causing many people to suffer from weakened immune systems and illnesses during grief, he says. While you may experience a loss of appetite and thirst or have trouble sleeping, following the death of a pet, giving your body plenty of energy through food, water, and rest are important to staying healthy and feeling better emotionally.

Put off your trip to the pet store
“Fight off the instinct to get a new pet so you won’t miss the old one,” Wolfelt says. “It’s important to only welcome a new pet into your home once you are ready to attach to him appropriately without comparison.” While each person’s timeline is different, he suggests giving yourself at least six months to process the loss of your pet before getting a new one. “When it doubt, wait,” he says.

More from WH:
All-Natural Depression Fixes
The Science of Heartache
Work Out with Your Dog

Look Better Naked: Buy the book to learn how to look (and feel!) your very best.

javahut healthy feed