Colds aren’t the only think you have to worry about catching from the people you see regularly: Negative thinking—a risk factor for depression—might be contagious, according to a new study published in the journal Clinical Psychological Science.

When something bad happens, people deal with the stress differently, says Gerald Haeffel, PhD, the lead study author and an associate professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame. People who have something called a cognitive vulnerability make negative interpretations of it; so, for example, they might take events like losing their job or breaking up with their boyfriend as a sign that they’re a failure or that they have a not-so-bright future ahead.

Researchers wanted to test the idea that one person’s cognitive vulnerability could rub off on someone else, so they studied 103 randomly assigned freshmen roommate pairs at the University of Notre Dame. Their hypothesis was right: Freshmen with more depression-prone roommates were more likely to start thinking negatively themselves after living together for three months. And after six months, the freshmen who had caught the bug had almost double the level of depressive symptoms as those who didn’t show an increase in cognitive vulnerability.

Yikes, right? We can all probably think of a friend who’s a bit of a Debbie Downer, but still totally loveable. Here’s how to stay close with Debbie—without letting all of her gloom rub off on you:

Plan activities
Just because you want to spend time with your friend does not mean you have to meet her for happy hour and listen to her complain about a problem—again. “She might be in a rut, ruminating and saying the same things over and over and over,” says Irene S. Levine, PhD, psychologist, friendship expert, and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. “So she might benefit from a bit of diversion.” Levine suggests distracting her with an activity—going for a run or heading to the movies—which also gives you an out from an hours-long conversation in which you act as a therapist. Plus, The Great Gatsby is out soon, and really now: Who doesn’t have fun staring at Leo for a few hours?

Go to someone else for guidance
We have our can-make-a-joke-out-of-anything friends, our style-savvy friends, our will-dance-all-night friends, and our advice-dolling friends. A girl who gives uber-negative feedback should not fall into the last category. Just because she’s coming to you to talk through issues does not mean the street has to run both ways. Rely on other pals when you’re stressed out and need suggestions, says Haeffel.

Take a break if you need to
“We choose our friends because they are satisfying and they help our health and well-being,” says Levine. So check in with yourself. If the friendship is taking a toll on you or your mental health, consider making some changes. “You may have to see less of the person, see them in small doses, or see them in a group setting,” says Levine. Put your mental health first and—bonus—if you’re in a better frame of mind, you’ll also be a better friend for it.

More from Women’s Health:
6 Ways to Strengthen Your Friendships
How to Forgive a Friend
Best Friends Forever?

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